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"Borrow-a-Baby"

By Rachel Lacourciere, edHelperBaby

  Set up a play date with another child
           A great idea for understanding the shape your new life will take on with a child is to set up play dates with family, friends', or neighbors' children.  These rendezvous allow new and experienced parents to get an idea of what it is like to be with either one or several children for a couple hours.  Even the most even-tempered and prepared prospective parent may not truly understand all that is required when caring for children.  As a parent, you can never have enough patience and practice, so it can not hurt to "test" out your skills on children and see where it takes you!

   

  What to consider beforehand
           When setting up the play date, try to arrange a time and day when both you and your partner can take part in this activity together.  It can be very beneficial to witness each other's strengths (and weaknesses!) and build solid parenting skills based on these very attributes.  Also, depending on your comfort level, you may want to have the parents stay with you and offer advice/tips or have them disappear and enjoy a cup of coffee out, do the grocery shopping, etc., to simulate a more "true to life" experience.  Ideally, the play date should last for a couple hours, possibly cover a feeding/meal, and allow for a lot of interactive playtime.

   

  What to consider afterwards
           Once you have taken the time to recover from this rewarding yet possibly tiring experience, sit down (with your partner if he or she took part as well) and reflect on the experience.  What were your strengths?  Where do you feel you struggled?  And if you had any struggles, are there things you could do next time to produce a more positive outcome?  Finally, take a moment to realize that the patience you have for another child is only half of what you will have for your own!

   

  My own experience
           Since we are expecting our first little girl in September, I went ahead and "borrowed" my neighbor's adorable two and half-month-old little girl, Abby.  I have to say, having a two-year-old myself, I thought I would find the entire experience to be straightforward and second nature.  I could not have been more mistaken!    I forgot the independence a two-year-old can exercise in comparison to a two-month-old who still needs you for every aspect of her life.  There were definitely more frequent diaper changes, increased feeding needs, and an overall need to be holding little Abby, all the while entertaining my son.  However, I must say there were also many redeeming qualities to the experience that I truly look forward to this fall.  For example, it gave my son a wonderful sense of accomplishment to be asked to hand me the bottle or bring me a wipe, burp cloth, and so forth.  He truly seemed to enjoy being my little assistant and loved being given the opportunity to feel he was contributing to the care of another.  While I would not change a thing and look forward to the birth of our daughter, I am glad I took the time to realize all that will go into developing a new schedule and routine that fits my daughter, son, and also accounts for not driving me and my husband crazy at the same time!

   


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